My father is my greatest role model. He is the most moral man I know. Totally dedicated to his family, committed to his wife, he was selfless and led by serving others. He always knew his priorities and made decisions by them. Principle based in his actions, he was totally honest with himself and lived life according to his own values and beliefs.
He grew up in a family that exhibited little outward love. His parents were addicted to opium and his mother was a gambler. They provided him and his brothers with money but no guidance and little warmth. He was determined to avoid their mistakes and spent all of his time, resources and attention on his family. His only vice as a young man was smoking cigarettes which he stopped in his forties. Always thrifty, he never spent money on himself.
He had a clear vision of where to steer his life and planned ahead. Even though he had reached a high executive position in Pan Am and was very comfortable in Hong Kong, he was determined to move to the US for the sake of his family. He went back to school at night and was ridiculed by his friends for it, but that never stopped him. Dad was resolute when he made a decision.
When he arrived in White Plains his salary dropped to $12K – a tiny sum for a family of five. Dad saved his bus fare by walking to the station and his per diem travel expenses. Financially it was difficult especially when he sent all of us to prep schools and Ivy League colleges. He and Mom never took any vacations or bought nice things for themselves. I am sure he would have liked to treat Mom to nice trips and dinners in the lifestyle that she wanted, but he was totally focused on his mission of providing the best possible education for his children.
My brothers and I were the clear beneficiaries of his and Mom’s commitment. He guided us as a role model, infused us with his values of honesty, hard work, and frugality, and provided us with wise counsel. I will always remember his sage advice: 1) pursue a career by identifying what you are good at; 2) raising children is like deregulations – you let go over time and you can never reregulate; and 3) know your priorities and act according to them.
Dad led the ultimate hero’s journey. He left a comfortable life in Hong Kong, embarked on a path that was treacherous and challenging, overcame tremendous adversity and successfully achieved his life’s goal. Near the end of his life he was content, happy, and surrounded by people who love him. There was nothing that he could have done more, and he knew that he had led a meaningful and fulfilled life.
I owe so much to this giant of a man. He made me feel so special whenever I saw him. Never asking for anything, he was concerned about my getting a meal or returning to work even in the emergency room. He was tireless in leading by serving, and relationship with his family was clearly the most important focus of his life. He has left behind him a great legacy, and I am so grateful that I am his son. He is and always will be my hero, mentor, and guiding light. We shall see each other again.
